"A Pint-sized Mafiosa"

Well, I always had a thing for slick hair. When I was a little kid, maybe eight years old, I would always ask my mom to slick my hair back with mouse or gel whenever we were going anywhere important. I loved being in a suit with my slick hair looking like some pint-sized Mafioso.

After a while, it died down a bit. I would occasionally slick my hair with gel to get that Mafia look, but only for kicks and giggles. Then, in about seventh grade it came back with the help of a band called the Brian Setzer Orchestra. My dad took us to see their Christmas show at Count Basey theatre in Red Bank, N.J. As soon as I saw him come out, I fell in love with that huge pomp and by the end of the night I was a Rockabilly maniac. At the time, my hair was still pretty short, so I tried to do my own little pompadours using gel, a hair drier, and a roller brush. In hindsight, they were pretty pathetic, but they kept me happy at the time. Yet again, it died out for a time. Then in 8th grade, I found an old bomber jacket in my parents’ closet and started wearing it around, giving the greaser attitude but missing just a few things, including the hair. After a while even that died out and I forgot the pleasure that slicking my hair gave me.

Then, it came back for good. In my freshman year, I was asked to help in a PTSO fund raiser called “The Mafia Murders.” It was a murder mystery, mobster style. I was to play “Dapper” Dan Johnson, the family Consiglieri (for those non-Italians, the advisor and lawyer). So, stepping into the bathroom I borrowed some mouse from a friend. Then, it all came back. Sliding that stuff into my hair, I felt the chill again, combing back and forth till I had that slick, grooved, gangster style look. I made a hell of a sight in my Grey double breasted suit (peaked lapels) and couldn’t wait to take the fedora off my head to show off my new do.

Over the summer, I missed it again and the greaser bug caught me. I was pulling off half decent pomps with gel, decked out in biker jacket and levi jeans. But I still wanted more. After much searching, I settled on American Greaser Supply 90 Wt Flat Top Wax. After a few cans, I decided to try the 40 wt instead and fell in love. Now, every day I wake up, pile up my pomp and fix my DA. With comb in back pocket and my jeans cuffed up, no wonder my friends call me Danny Zuko. I’ve started a revolution in my school, starting a greaser gang I call the V8s (though I’m the only one willing to make the commitment to the hair style) and earned the nickname “Blue Eyes” for my blue eyes and dark hair as well as my Frank Sinatra impressions. I still do the mafia look on occasion, but my real passion is being a hair slicking, hot rodding, switchblade carrying greaser.

Rockin 'n' Rollin'

WHERE HE'S COMING FROM Because some viewers attempt to "stalk" our contributors, Robert asked that we allow him to make the following statement: "I am not a slick hair fetisher, I am a slick hair entusiast. I get no sexual pleasure or arousal from slicking my own hair or other people's hair. What I do love is the classic look of slick hair and the way my girlfriend runs her fingers through mine :)  Other than her, no one touches it but me and my barber. So please don't contact me for dates, meetups, or anything of the like." We ask that his preferences be respected as you want yours to be. Remenber that people appreciate slicked hair for many different reasons.